Zee Jobhunt

Most dreaded phrase for everyone who actually has a conventional day-to-day occupation, or not. It came to me all of a sudden, why don’t I write about that? When not eating or doing something equally satisfying I spend most of my time with searching for a job and agonising over the question of WHY WHY WHY didn’t they choose me? Can’t they see how amazing I actually am? Best thing ever since the invention of light. Well it was not technically invented, unless we consider God an inventor. So let’s just go with the best thing since the invention of electricity. That’ll work. So I’m going to write a rhapsody about this until I find the most amazing job evah!

The problem is no one seems to realise that yours's truly is on the market.

They say fake it till you make it or 20% what you say and 80% how you say it. But it’s really hard to do that through the medium of writing. I’m really diligent and every single job I apply to I write a personalised Cover Letter. Not the most time efficient but I have the time so why not just play with it. But it just doesn’t work. If I write what really goes through my brain at the moment I would get a restraining order. Well not really but for the desired position I would definitely offer let's say my firstborn, a lift to the Zoo of choice and maybe some cash. There is a strong filter between my brain and my mouth/hand to prevent all these ideas seeing the daylight.

Like the other day my friend was telling me that when he applied for a job he had to take the interview with three other girls. And what comes to my mind when he said that? Yes of course as for everyone, The Corrs, a now hugely irrelevant, mediocre band. That’s what I have to work with. But when I tone down the letters they became dry and a tad bit boring. And ta-dah! I sound like any other applicant, probably even worse as someone else gets hired. On occasion I managed to lull the filter into a catnap and write whatever comes to my brain. Well that did not get me very far either. Maybe, just maybe, I should not apply for the position of the Queen of the World without having a crown.

I will take it into consideration...soonish.

The point is that I have never been out of work for longer than 3 weeks after starting to look for a job and did not have to have a job interview since 2010. So now I’m just blinking around and can’t fathom why I am not covered in job offers like a striper with one dollar bills in a seedy club. The world has shifted, I became too relaxed and now have to get back into the game. Yay?

TBC - to be continued... or the Hungarian abbreviation for tuberculosis

#job #hunt #work #reallife #bloodyhell